Tapering always bothers me. I have too much time to think and am filled with self-doubt. Instead of being psyched for my upcoming race, I’m usually easily distracted and tend to think more about the missed workouts or bad runs than the accomplishments I’ve made.

When my friends are anxious about their futures, it is so easy for me to encourage them. Why is it, then, that when the two-headed anxiety-and-fear monster rears its head I wallow in self-doubt?

Simple. It is easier for me to assess others’ good qualities (Their humor! Their boldness! Their kick-ass style!) while accepting their missteps (We all have bad days, It’s part of the package, It could have been worse).

Perhaps, though, as a 26-year-old who will be running her fifth marathon, I should treat myself like I would a friend. To a friend facing similar self-doubt I would say:

Hey You,
I know you’re nervous, and you should be. You’re nervous because you care. I know that doesn’t make you feel any better, but it’s true. You’re a passionate individual who throws herself full-force into everything she does.

I admire your dedication. You’ve run before work even when it was snowing, cold or raining. And you’ve gone to the gym even when Pilates hurt and weight lifting wasn’t fun. You’ve sacrificed nights out with friends. And you’ve kept that schedule for almost five months.

I admire your courage. You’re in a big, new city, but that didn’t stop you from lacing up your shoes and running out the door. You never let passers-by, whether children mimicking your running pattern or construction workers’ catcall, get to you. You kept going.

I admire your ability to overcome obstacles. You got frostbite and, the same day, shocked your doctors by asking when you could run again. Even though you didn’t like it, you listened to him and added extra layers or worked out indoors, so you wouldn’t get behind in your training. After that painful experience (you looked awful, in case you were too medicated to realize it) some might have given up. You, my dear, did not. Nor did you turn around when you wiped out after an ice storm. You were only two miles into a 14-mile run and could have called it a day. Instead, you ran faster, convinced that if you fell once, you wouldn’t fall again. That cut and bruise took three weeks to heal, and even the girls at the gym felt sorry for you, but you never stopped running.

I admire your selflessness. Throughout this time you have never stopped putting others first. You’ve helped new interns adjust to the city, coached elementary school kids, and volunteered at numerous events. You’ve listened to friends who are dealing with heartache. You’ve cheered on others’ personal accomplishments. Watching you teach others, especially when you’re learning yourself, is inspiring.

I admire your attitude. For the first time in a long time, you are recognizing your shortcomings (objectively) and working on them. You know that you’ll be tense these last few weeks, and instead of taking on more than you can handle, you’ve narrowed your focus and set more attainable goals. You’re also better prepared to handle the post-marathon slump.

I know you’re worried that you might fail. You have set out to accomplish an amazing task-one that others might not be brave enough to attempt. That, alone, can be intimidating. You have also poured many hours and sleepless nights into this adventure, and you want it to pay off. I get it.

But, you’ve done all you can. You’ve run as hard and fast and as long as you could. You’ve cross trained, lifted, taken classes, stretched and paid attention to your diet. You’ve mentally prepared for this, too. As these last days pass—some too quickly, and others much too slowly—the only thing left to do is rest.

Be good to yourself these last few weeks and trust yourself. You’re the only one who knows what you need and how you feel. Once you’re out there, on your own, only you can calm your racing heart, soothe your nerves or pull yourself out of that mile-23 slump.

You have to believe that you can do this, because I believe in you. I have never had more faith that anyone will accomplish what she has set out to do. You’ve worked so hard, now its time to have fun. This is your day. More than anything, you should enjoy it. You deserve it.

Amber

I, however, am not that nice to myself…